Before I Do, I Die
by Jeanny
Summary: **FINISHED!** Mere days before Xander and Anya's wedding, Buffy has to face a threat unlike any she has before: a pillaging Viking horde intent on sacking Sunnydale and led by none other than the groom himself.
1. Part 1

Title: Before I Do, I Die

Author: Jeanny

Spoilers: General Season 6.

Rating: PG

Feedback: Yes, please! jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: Go ahead, I don't mind, just credit me and tell me where it's going.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd take better care of them. No really, I would!

Summary: Mere days before Xander and Anya's wedding, Buffy has to face a threat unlike any she has before: a pillaging Viking horde intent on sacking Sunnydale and led by none other than the groom himself.

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Buffy had barely brushed her knuckles against the door when Xander opened it, dashed out into the hall and slammed it shut. He had a wild look in his eyes that Buffy had never seen before.

"How bad is it?" she asked in a low voice.

"Oh, it's pretty bad," he said, his voice strained. "Have I mentioned I'm going to kill Willow?"

"Once or...a dozen times...she really feels bad about this, Xan. She was trying to do good, you know."

"Well, she did bad! Very, very, very bad!" Xander hissed, his eyes frantic. They could hear loud banging noises from inside the apartment, and loud stomping footsteps heading to the door. Xander clutched at Buffy's arm desperately. "Oh God, they're coming! Hide me!"

"Xander, stop. They can't be that...holy God in heaven!" Buffy stared at the nearly seven-foot Viking that had flung open the door and was looking at the two of them with an increasingly angry glare. Xander laughed nervously.

"Hi. Erik."

"Alexander! We have been seeking you for many minutes. Why are you keeping company with this flaxen-haired wench in hiding from my sister?"

"Hey! I just washed it! And I'm not a wench!" Buffy protested, but Erik ignored her as he moved towards Xander and grabbed him by the shirtfront, lifting him off the ground before Buffy moved.

"Erik, this is Buffy, a good friend of Anya...anka's," Xander said in a strangled voice. "One of the bridesmaids. Buffy, this is Erik, my future brother-in-law, newly arrived from two millenniums ago and a damn fine Viking." The Viking's demeanor changed immediately from menacing to hearty. He dropped Xander back to his feet and threw a meaty arm around both of their shoulders.

"The maid is here for Anyanka! She is most welcome, then. The women are in the bedchamber, doing...women's things." Buffy looked around Xander's apartment in stunned amazement. Overnight it had been transformed into a what she would be willing to bet was a fairly authentic Viking dwelling. Several men that looked very similar to Erik were seated around the table having an animated discussion and drinking from battered cups. Erik left Buffy and Xander alone, joining his brothers to see what the problem was. They seemed to be having a good-natured argument over some small objects, interspersed with periodic bursts of drunken laughter. Buffy gave a low whistle.

"Wow."

"Yeah. Did I mention I'm going to kill Willow?"

"Xander, stop saying that. Willow only wanted to give Anya a shower gift that meant something, you know, special, and Anya said she wished her mother could see her wedding..."

"You know what's a special gift at a bridal shower? Lingerie!"

"...and, so the spell was a bit too strong and she got not just Anya's mother but her four brothers and their wives and..." Buffy trailed off, not wanting to bring up the sorest subject of all.

"And a goat. Go on, say it! She got Anya's goat," Xander said miserably. Buffy couldn't hold it in any longer. She started to giggle. Hard.

"I'm s-s-sorry..." she choked out, trying to get the laughter under control. Xander just sighed, looking completely defeated.

"No, you should laugh, Buff. My pain is funny. Always funny when bad things happen to Xander, you know? Almost got eaten by a praying mantis, turned into a monkey boy by Dracula, possessed by a hyena spirit, which is, of course, a laughing animal. And not to forget the laugh riot that was the syphilis." Buffy's laughter died at his mournful tone.

"No, no, that's not...I don't think your pain's funny. I was just laughing because I remembered I saw this tombstone on patrol last night that said, 'Really, I'm feeling much better,' and I thought it was funny...although when the vamp came out it was kinda more ironic than funny...uh, see? Not laughing. I'm All-Sympathy Girl. How can I help? You called me to help? I want to help. I haven't seen you in this much misery since Anya discovered those CDs of pan flute music." When he glared at her, she added sheepishly. "Sorry. I'll just be All-Being-Quiet-And-Not-Making-Things-Worse Girl."

Xander buried his head in his hands and started muttering under his breath. Buffy could only make out the words "'Zamfir', 'Willow' and 'die'. She patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, then squeezed in warning to let him know Erik was approaching. The Viking thrust a handful of Scrabble tiles at Xander.

"Alexander. My brothers wish to see if the signs bode well for our sister's happiness and our victory, but your runes are strange. We understand them not."

"Okay, Erik, that's because they're not-"

"Xander!" Anya appeared from the bedroom, her eyes brimming with tears. "Mother says...she says...she says I can't marry you!"

"What?" Buffy exclaimed, as Xander was stunned beyond the capacity of speech. Erik took his sister in a surprisingly gentle embrace.

"My mother fears Alexander will be like Olaf. Our family suffered greatly when Anyanka used her foul magicks to seek vengeance upon that fool. We will not have that happen again."

"She thinks you won't be able to provide for me...I mean, we don't even have our own goat," Anya wailed.

"But that's not true...well, the part about the goat, is true, but the not being able to provide part...Anya, you just have to tell her about Xander' s job," Buffy said in exasperation.

"My mother knows of Xander's work. He is a fine craftsman, but it is not enough. He must prove worthy of a Viking wife," Erik said.

"It's no use. The wedding is off," Anya sobbed.

"No, Anya. The wedding is on. Willow said the spell that brought your family here won't be broken until you too tie the knot..."

Xander suddenly look hopeful, grabbing Anya's hand.

"Vegas here we come!" he whooped.

"...in the presence of Anya's family," Buffy finished. Xander deflated. "Xander, somehow you need to convince Anya's family that you care enough about her to provide for her."

"Yes, Anyanka! Your strangely named friend is correct. We will take Alexander on a raid. When Mother and Father see him return with plunder, your union will be secure."

"Hang on! That's not what I..." Buffy began, but Erik ignored her.

"Brothers! Alexander will lead us to sack this strange city of Sunnydale, to bring home riches and to win the hand of our sister!" Anya's other brothers stood with an approving roar, ran past a stunned Buffy and Anya, lifted a helpless Xander off his feet and joyously paraded him out of the apartment.

"...meant," Buffy finished weakly. The two women tried to process what had just happened. "Well, at least they show initiative," Buffy tried to joke weakly.

"This isn't funny. Xander's only a Viking in bed. He'll be killed going on a raid!" Anya worried.

"Right...what? Right," Buffy stammered.

"So? How do we stop them?" Anya asked. Buffy stood up straight and squared her shoulders determinedly. She looked bold, confident, every inch a Slayer as she put her arm around the other girl's shoulders and spoke.

"I don't know."

***********

TBC - please leave feedback!


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series and all the characters that appear on the show are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, The WB, UPN, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and any one else with a legal binding claim to the shows and/or characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

****************************************

"Wait, wait, wait!" Xander screamed. He was suddenly, jarringly dropped to the ground. He ran his tongue over his teeth to make sure they were all still present and accounted for before looking up into four pairs of maddened eyes. Anya's youngest brother Leif, who as the smallest of the men still had a good inch or more on Xander, turned to his brothers with a scowl.

"He is unworthy of Anyanka. He does not wish to provide for her well-being," he growled. Erik frowned uncertainly but the other two, Svein and Gardar, grunted agreement. Xander hastened to raise his hand in protest, wincing at the movement.

"Excuse me. Anya's well-being is what I'm thinking about here. At least her mental well-being as regards my well-being, as in if I'm dead she'll be very unhappy."

"She will be more unhappy if she is wed to less than a real man," Leif insisted. "My sister would never be happy with such a poor provider."

"I don't suppose this is a good time to tell you about Women's Lib and employment and the whole 'Sistahs Are Doin It For Themselves' thing, huh?" Xander asked flatly. When he felt himself rehoisted on the Viking's tall shoulders, he sighed.

"That's what I thought."

***********

"This is all my fault," Willow moaned, sinking further under the covers. Buffy and Anya exchanged exasperated glances.

"Yes, it is," Anya agreed matter-of-factly.

"But you were trying to do something nice," Buffy said soothingly. "Everybody gets that." Buffy glared at Anya, who rolled her eyes.

"It has been...pleasant to see my parents again," she reluctantly agreed. 

"Xander doesn't get it. He hates me," Willow said, sinking down so low that her head was completely covered. Her voice was so muffled that they could barely understand her. "Tara hates me. And Giles is in England, but if he were here he'd hate me too."

"Right!" Buffy said suddenly, then faltered as Willow's head reappeared, her eyes wounded. "Not right about the hating, right about the being in England. Will, we've got a major emergency here. We've got a Viking horde fixing to loot Sunnydale made up of Anya's brothers and our best friend. We've got to stop it."

"Without anyone getting hurt," Anya added quickly.

"And that's my problem," Buffy admitted. "Most of my problem-solving come down to violence, which is kinda a big no. We need something more...subtle. And that's where the magick comes in!"

"Subtle?" Willow said in a strangled voice. "Don't you get it? I can't be subtle. I don't do subtle! Everything I do just goes all kerblooey, and I don't know why. It's like there's this power and I don't know where it's coming from or how to stop it, but everything ends up all over the top. You don't want me to help you. I'll just end up hurting everyone again." She looked at Buffy in such abject misery that it broke the Slayer's heart. "I'm not a big gun, Buffy. I'm a loose cannon."

"Okay, Will, it's okay. Big no to spells. I get it," Buffy said soothingly. She racked her brain for a moment. "How about some old fashioned Net Girl help?" Willow looked up with a glimmer of interest.

"Like what?" she sniffed. Buffy considered this for a moment before responding brightly.

"Viking methods and practices. I need to find out where they'll head first."

"I wish I knew more about it. They never let me pillage," Anya sulked.

Willow looked at Buffy and rolled her eyes, and Buffy relaxed a bit. That was the spunky Willow she so desperately needed now. She just hoped they could come up with a way to help Xander and Sunnydale at the same time.

***********

"Hey, guys? Men? Viking compadres?" Xander was relieved when his future brothers-in-law finally relented and stopped their relentless march through the streets of Sunnydale. Erik looked on him with rapidly waning patience.

"What is it now, Alexander?"

"It's just...I'm really new at the whole plundering thing, but do you usually sack the town where you live? I mean, I don't want Anyaaaaa..." he drew out the last syllable unnecessarily as he struggled to remember to add the unfamiliar, "-anka to have to endure the whispers on the street, you know, 'there goes the girl whose husband burned City Hall and pillaged the Quik-Mart,' that sort of thing." The brothers looked surprised. This had not occurred to them, but they obviously felt he had a point.

"These people are your kin, Alexander?"

"What? No...well, some of them are, sure," Xander said slowly.

"We must find another town to pillage then," Svein said decisively.

"I don't really think we'll have time, do you?" Xander said. "The weddings in two days."

"We must take your magic wagon," Leif said, and the others grunted approval.

"My magic what-on?" Xander asked.

"Anyanka has told us of your...she called it a 'car.' She said you can travel great distances in less than one day," Gardar said, clearly mistrustful of the idea.

"Told you that, did she?" Xander said, laughing weakly.

"Father was concerned that you had no longboat," Svein offered. "Anyanka explained that a...car is better than a longboat. Except on water."

"It is settled. We will leave Sunnydale, travel in Xander's magic car and plunder a nearby village," Erik said in satisfaction. Xander was about to launch a fresh protest, but instead found himself shouting a warning as the vampires attacked.

***********

"This is everything I could come up with, but, you know, speculating here," Willow said doubtfully.

"Speculation is good," Buffy said supportively. "Speculate away."

"Well, I think they'd try to take over the center of town first, you know, make sure there's not going to be much resistance. Especially since there's only four of them."

"Five," Anya huffed. Willow rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't exactly counting Xander," Willow said with exaggerated patience.

"Why not? You think my father is right? You think he can't provide for me!" Buffy grabbed the nearly hystErikal bride by the arms and forced her to sit.

"Anya, I know you're under a lot of stress, but you've got to stop the insanity. So you think they'll head for what...the police station?"

"Maybe," Willow said doubtfully. "Or they might start with the first house they see." 

"So we're pretty much standing on square one here still."

"This is ineffective. Xander's going to die!" Anya squealed.

"No, no, no!" Buffy said. "Okay...I'm gonna patrol, look around. Someone's bound to have noticed a bunch of Vikings roaming around town."

"In Sunnydale?" Willow asked doubtfully, then tilting her head towards Anya, mouthed, "Don't leave me here with her!"

"I know...but I need to do something, and I'm not much help here," Buffy said, ignoring the manic desperation in her friend's eyes.

"True," Anya agreed.

"Anya!" Willow exclaimed, then continued wistfully to Buffy, "I could freeze her vocal chords...but she'd never be able to say her vows then..."

"I'm pretty sure Emily Post would say hexing the bride was bad form, Will. But I think you should be getting back to your parents now, Anya, don't you? A-and the goat?" Willow and Buffy couldn't help but be amused by Anya's non-reaction to the first suggestion and her hurried exit at the second. Speaking _sotto voce _in case the former demon was still in earshot, Buffy added to Willow, "Besides, it doesn't matter. If we can't talk sense into Anya's brothers before it's too late, the only ceremony Xander's going to be attending is..."

***********

"Do I get a Viking funeral?" Xander pondered aloud as they were quickly surrounded by the hissing monsters. Xander counted quickly and groaned. Eight vampires going against the five of them. Four Vikings and a Xander...he almost smiled.

"What foul creatures are these, Alexander?" Erik roared.. 

"Vampires. Use your broadswords. Cut off their heads, that's the only way to kill them. And somebody give me a sword!" he screamed as he punched the vampire closest to him in the face. Gardar tossed his spare sword to Xander, who to his own amazement caught it, slicing the vampire's head clear off with one neat swipe. 

"Come, brothers!" Erik cried. The Vikings moved in and began hacking skillfully at the vampires, taking four of them down in short order. The three remaining vampires looked at each other nervously, clearly ready to flee.

"That's right! You better run! Oh yeah, we're bad-ass Vikings!" Xander crowed...then added soberly a moment later, when about twenty more vampires appeared out of nowhere, "Or you could call for reinforcements."

Anya's brothers continued to fight valiantly, but Xander knew they were seriously outmanned. However, he had no idea how exactly one convinced such fierce warriors to retreat. He was praying that Buffy would somehow miraculously figure out where they were when their own reinforcements arrived, in the form of a bleached blonde vampire that fought like an army. Xander looked heavenward, not certain if this was an answer to his prayer or not. However, seeing Spike's game face, Gardar struck a blow the vampire only narrowly avoided.

"I'm on your side!" Spike protested. "Harris, mind telling your new friends I'm fighting for truth and puppies?"

'He's on our side!" Xander yelled. "Personally, I'd like to say kill him, but we need his help right now." As if to punctuate Xander's point, Spike transformed another vamp into a cloud of dust. The Vikings quickly adjusted to fighting with Spike, and to Xander's astonishment they were winning. Their attackers realized the same thing and took the opportunity to flee. Spike half-heartedly pursued one but then stopped, lighting up a cigarette and eyeing Xander and his gigantic, hirsute companions with idle curiosity.

"Joined a biker gang, did you? About time you grew a-

"These are Anya's brothers, Spike. They're here for the wedding, and some pillaging, which we're on our way to right now, in fact. We're going to get my car, and do a little light looting. Of San Geraldo. So in case Anya worries about where we've gone, we've gone to San Geraldo. You might want to let Buffy know too, so she doesn't worry about us. And the looting."

"Don't expect I'll be seeing her tonight," Spike said nonchalantly, enjoying the way that Xander's eyes bugged out of his head. "Got my own stuff to do, demons to fight and what-not."

"It would be really great if you did see her," Xander said anxiously.

"Thought you didn't want me to," Spike said almost sulkily, and Xander barely could contain himself from staking the vampire then and there. His future brother-in-laws looked on with nonplussed amusement.

"I just told you, I think it would be great. Please, see Buffy. And make sure you tell her-"

"San Geraldo. Sure. So you're saying it's okay with you if I see Buffy. And spend time with her. And-"

"Spike, so help me...yes, alright, it's okay with me! In fact, the sooner you see her, the happier I'll be."

"Right then, I'm off," Spike said cheerfully. "Enjoy the pillaging, you lot."

"You are a fine warrior," Leif said sincerely. "If we do not meet in battle again, we will do so in Valhalla."

"Sure thing, mate." Managing to keep a straight face only through great effort, Spike solemnly clasped arms with each man in turn, then gestured towards Xander. "Make sure he shows you all the good plunder spots. Wouldn't want to miss any good booty." Spike chuckled at Xander's glare as his future brother-in-laws dragged him off, then smiled grimly. "All right Slayer, where might you be?"

******

"Where the hell is he?" Buffy muttered. She'd been all over town and there had no sign of Xander and his merry men. Out of desperation she'd headed towards the docks, thinking maybe they'd want to approach by boats. Vikings did that kind of thing, right? She should have asked Willow... 

A tingling sensation distracted her. Vampires, at least one, coming up behind...

Buffy pounced, stake at the ready, but the vampire, a teenage girl shorter than Buffy herself, anticipated the move and nimbly stepped aside. She tossed her long blonde mane and smiled cockily. Buffy shook her head.

"Oh no. My New Year's resolution this year was not to get my ass kicked by little blonde girls anymore...and balance my checkbook, but that's not really relevant right now." 

"Slayer," the girl hissed, doing a perfect round off and flipping over Buffy's head. Buffy twisted out of the vampire's grasp and gave her a swift kick to the ribs.

"Let me guess. Sunnydale High gymnastics team?" Buffy panted. "Formerly, of course. Now that you're all vampy, no more Olympic dreams. It must really suck to be you."

"I'm adjusting," the vampire said perkily as she did another roundoff that ended with a kick that sent Buffy reeling. From somewhere far away she thought she heard someone calling her name, but she was too busy trying to clear the cobwebs from her mind to focus on the sound. Instead she executed a flip of her own, whipping her leg around and tripping her overly-perky opponent. She held the stake aloft and smiled.

"I'm afraid there's a mandatory point penalty for that fall," Buffy panted as she brought the stake home. As she brushed the dust off of her blouse, she shook her head. "Okay, that was lame. Got to work on the witty asides."

"Couldn't agree more, pet."

"Wonderful. This is my night."

"Don't flatter yourself, luv. I'm just delivering a message from the Boy Wonder."

"Xander? Where is he?"

"Starting his new life of crime with his hairy friends...you haven't exactly been running a tight ship with your little Scooby Gang, have you?"

"Spike..."

"Patience, luv. The whelp's fine, last I saw."

"Which was WHERE?"

"Well, you won't find him in Sunnydale." Spike grinned at the shocked look on Buffy's face at this revelation. He continued, "Seems he and his boys decided to take a road trip. You know, a little plunder and picture tour of Southern California."

"Where?"

"You're going to need a ride. And I just happened to bring my bike..." Buffy glared at him, mentally debating the worth of pummeling the information out of him and deciding with regret that she didn't have time. And she did need a ride, apparently. And it would give her an opportunity to grab hold of those abs...Buffy shook her head impatiently to clear it of that thought.

"Fine, let's go. And Spike, if you don't take me to Xander..."

"I know, I know, you'll inflict some violence. Not nice to tease, Slayer."

Buffy was glad for the poor lighting, hoping it would hide her blush. She followed him to the bike and hopped on behind the vampire, all the while formulating a plan which was kind of out there, but the only thing she thought had any hope of working.

*******

To be continued...But feedback for this section would certainly be appreciated.


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series and all the characters that appear on the show are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, The WB, UPN, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and any one else with a legal binding claim to the shows and/or characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

****************************************

"Willow?"

The crackle of static made Willow pull the receiver away from her ear for a second. She looked at it for a second in a annoyance before pressing it to her ear hard, putting her finger in her other ear to block out the nonexistent noise in the empty room.

"Buffy? I can barely hear you. Where are you?"

The hissing pause was long enough that Willow worried that she had lost her friend.

"I'm with Spike. He knows where Xander and his little horde of in-laws are going."

Willow sagged with relief.

"That's great!"

"They left Sunnydale. Apparently they mean to sack San Geraldo."

"That's bad."

"Yeah. But I think I have a plan."

"That's great!"

"But I'm going to need a little magic to pull it off."

"That's bad."

"You need to get Tara."

"That's great!"

"The two of you need to get to San Geraldo stat."

"That's bad."

"Why is that bad?"

"Oh...sorry...got into a groove. I'll call Tara, I'm sure she'll come. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Ummm...Will? I need you guys there when I get there if this is gonna work."

Willow exhaled sharply and stared at her computer morosely.

"Oh. Buffy?"

"What?"

"That's bad. The only way to get there before you is a translocation spell. It takes a lot of power. Tara can't...not alone."

"I know what I'm asking, Will. You know I wouldn't if there was any other choice. But if I try to do this alone..." Willow distinctly heard a cry of indignation from a certain British vampire, "someone's going to end up getting hurt. You know me; my solutions tend to be violent."

"Buffy..."

"You can do this, Will. I believe in you. Get back on the horse. For Xander's sake."

"Okay. I can do it. For Xander."

"Atta-girl. We need someplace to meet, somewhere easy to find."

"On it," Willow said, typing on her keyboard in earnest. A few seconds later she said, "I think City Hall's our best bet. Right in the center of town, can't miss it."

"You're the best. Get Tara and meet us there and I'll explain what I have in mind."

********

"Gardar, get off of me!" Xander snapped as the Viking half-climbed into the front seat to look out the driver's side window in amazement. "Put your seat belt back on!"

"It is miraculous magic, Alexander," Erik said reverently, his own gaze glued out the window on the passenger side. The others had been quiet since the trip had begun other than occasional gasps, except for Gardar, who had been stuck with the center seat and had been bitterly complaining since they had started. Xander was driving as slowly as possible, hoping to delay their travel long enough for Spike to contact Buffy. So far none of his passengers had seemed to notice.

"So...what was Anya like as a girl? I mean Anyanka, of course," Xander offered conversationally.

"We are Vikings, Alexander. We do not waste time in women's business," Svein said haughtily.

"Anyanka did not like women's business either, brother," Erik reminded his brother with a gentle chuckle.

"True. Our sister received many thrashings from Father for trying to join the raids," Leif reminisced. Xander's knuckles tightened on the wheel.

"He hit her?"

"She is but a woman, Alexander. Of course he would thrash her if she needed-" All four Vikings cried out as Xander swerved onto the shoulder and screeched to a stop. He turned to them angrily, all thoughts of their superior size and strength forgotten.

"Anya is not 'but' anything! She's the woman I am going to marry, the woman I love more than my own life. And she is funny and kind and gentle and, okay, occasionally scary, and if anyone lays a finger on her to harm her I will personally be the one making with the thrashing. Understand?" To Xander's surprise, Anya's brothers nodded almost meekly in response. Xander took a deep breath. "Okay then."

"You care deeply for Anyanka," Erik said softly.

"She's my life," Xander answered without taking his eyes off the road.

"It is good. We will not fail you, our new brother," Gardar said with near religious fervor. 

"You will make our sister proud and bring honor to our family," Erik added happily. "And your wedding will be remembered in song for ages."

"So long as it's not the Theme from Ice Castles, because I just got Anya talked out of that."

"Where is this 'Ice Castle'? We shall burn it to the ground and bring home its wealth to Anyanka!" Leif cried enthusiastically.

"Ummm, no, that's not-"

"I see it! The Ice Castle!" Svein crowed, and the other Vikings hooted approval. Xander fought the urge to beat his head against the steering wheel as he beheld the sprawling steel and frosted Plexiglas structure that was more commonly known as the Val-U-Land Mall.

"I really, really hate the Hellmouth," the dark-haired youth muttered as his future brothers-in-law crowed in amazement.

"What magicks make it sparkle so?" Leif wondered.

"Pretty sure that's track lighting," Xander's wry response was drowned out by Gardar's enthusiasm.

"It matters not. We shall burn it to the ground and return with its treasures in our magick car. Alexander, steer us to the Castle gates!" 

Xander wished he had driven faster.

*******

When Buffy and Spike pulled up in front of San Geraldo City Hall, Willow and Tara were standing at the ready. The two witches were wearing matching frowns, but Buffy had the distinct feeling that it was for two different reasons. She hopped off the bike almost before it stopped, not wanting her friends to see her cozying up to Spike even if she had a good reason.

"Any sign of them?" she asked a bit breathlessly.

"No, and no unusual police activity either," Willow said in a matching tone. Buffy noticed she was holding a police scanner and grinned in approval.

"Good thinking, Will. Where'd you get it?"

"I kind of conjured it," Willow said, not meeting Tara's gaze. She looked at Buffy pleadingly. "I had to. Because it's Xander. We needed a way to find him...and you said I should get on the horse!"

"It's all good, Will. Don't sweat it."

"Think you could conjure some more stolen goods, pet?" Spike drawled, earning himself three glares much to his satisfaction. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Ignore Spike," she said before launching into her plan. When she was finished she eyed the witches questioningly. "What do you think? Is it doable?"

"I know some spells," Tara said slowly. "I've never tried them before because normally there'd be an ethical problem...they're pretty simple, though. The problem is doing something on this scale is gonna take a lot of power. More than anything...well, almost anything else we've done."

"Will?" Buffy asked her friend, who was staring into space. For a moment Willow's eyes shone in a way that made Buffy's heart drop to her shoes, but then the witch nodded slowly.

"We can do it," she said soberly but confidently, and Tara took hold her hand, interlocking her fingers. Tara nodded at her and smiled, and Willow returned the smile gratefully. Buffy exhaled a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding.

"Great. That's what I want to hear. Now it's just a matter of waiting for Xander and the others to show. Which they kind of should've done by now, I think. Spike."

"What? Not my fault Harris drives like a bleedin old bird. He said San Geraldo."

The police radio that Willow was holding suddenly came to life, and an urgent voice began calling all units in the vicinity to a disturbance at Val-U-Land. The four exchanged disbelieving glances.

"You don't think..." Tara said slowly.

"Change of plans?" Willow spoke aloud what they all were wondering.

"They could do better," Spike observed. "Go more upscale..."

"Buffy?" Willow said, seeing her friend's frown of concentration. The Slayer made a decision.

"Same plan, new location. Can you guys get us all there?" At Willow's enthusiastic thumbs up, Buffy nodded grimly. "Let's ride." As Willow and Tara began tracing sigils in the air, Spike chuckled to himself. Buffy glared at him. "What's so funny?"

"Harris' face when this is all over." Despite her annoyance Buffy had to smile.

"If all goes well, he'll be alive and walking down the aisle. And he may not have had a bachelor's party, but something tells me Xander's never gonna forget the night before his wedding."

*******

To be continued...


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of its characters belong to Joss & Co. I mean really, did you think they were mine, silly?

****************************************

"Tell us of the castle's defenses, brother," Svein said to Xander as they pulled into the parking lot. 

"Don't suppose that repeating for the ten millionth time that it's NOT a castle's going to do any good," Xander replied sourly. Erik shook his head at him, bewildered.

"I do not understand you, Alexander. Clearly you love Anyanka, yet you are willing to lose her rather than-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! Explain, 'willing to lose her,' Erik," Xander barked, twisting in his seat to face the Viking. He turned to the back seat when Svein responded.

"We cannot leave our sister here unprovided for. If she cannot wed, she will return home with us," he announced solemnly.

"But you can't...but she...good grief..." Xander slumped, rubbing his face in his hands as he tried to think.

"The castle, Alexander," Leif prodded.

Xander sighed heavily. It was late enough in the evening that the stores were closed, but he knew that there was an entertainment and food court that would be open until much later. All he could think was to keep them away from as many people as possible, and hopefully manage to lift enough shiny things to placate Anya's family and allow the marriage to take place.

*Then, when this is all over, we'll return everything anonymously, and hopefully the words 'conjugal visit' won't have to become part of our regular vocabulary.*

"Defenses...well, we want to stay away from the north entrance, cause that's the area that's most heavily guarded...and there are, ummm, magickal wards over there...that we want to avoid at all costs, because they...they'll do something nasty to our, ummmm, important manly parts."

Xander thought the Vikings looked suitably alarmed by that boldfaced lie, but then Leif shook his fist towards the mall building.

"We will not be frightened away by such foul magicks. We will burn their enchanted castle to the ground!" he said with fervor, and the other Vikings roared approval.

"We shall enter from the south," Svein informed his brothers. "And work our way north from the inside. Do you know where the treasures are kept?" he asked Xander, who had slumped over despondently.

"Jewelry store?" he guessed listlessly.

"Once inside, you seek the store of jewels," Svein told Gardar. "The rest of us will follow Alexander and set about conquering the north."

"I told you, we don't want to go north. Major bad mojo with the manly parts, remember? And there's nothing there we want anyway!" Xander protested. The brothers shared looks, then laughed heartily.

"You are new at this, Alexander. We have raided many villages, pillaged and destroyed many castles. Such wards and reinforcements as you describe are never put into place to guard nothing. Clearly the north side contains the most wonderous spoils, the kind that will bring the most honor to you and ensure that you will be permitted to marry Anyanka."

"We realize you have not done this before," Erik said sympathetically. "We will all help, but you must be the one to lead the raid, Alexander. It is the only way you may prove that you're worthy of our sister." Xander decided to make one last desperate stab at stopping the insanity.

"You're sure I can't just make you a really nice storage chest, you know, to hold the loot from the raid...oh! Or a boat. I bet I could make a boat. For like, leisure time. Do Vikings, um, have leisure time?"

The only response was Erik's beefy arms hauling him none too gently from the car. Xander groaned. Even if Spike, through some divine intervention or Jiminy Cricket or his happy chip conscience, had actually given his message to Buffy, his friends were off on a wild goose chase now. He was on his own, and somehow he had to get these Vikings in check. He drew himself up, narrowing his eyes and trying his best to look steely and tough.

"Fine. If I'm going to lead the raid, then once inside, you all have to do what I say. And I mean everything I say. That means no attacking unless you're attacked, no destruction of anything unless I tell you it's okay. You guys may be expert pillagers, but I'm an expert...Californian. Things are different here, and you're going to have to listen." The Vikings observed him with varying degrees of skepticism and interest. Xander cleared his throat, holding his ground. He tried to glare more menacingly, even though he was already feeling like an impostor and a fool. Then he really thought about what was at stake. Anya. The cold determination he had been trying to fake immediately became real, and the Vikings nodded agreement. Xander dropped his shoulders in relief. "Okay. That's settled. Let's do this."

Xander led the way so that they couldn't see his lips moving as he spoke to himself silently. He prayed that no one would be injured in this mess. How he was going to insure that, he had no idea, but that was his first priority. Make sure no one got hurt. His second priority: marry Anya. His third: get Willow back for this. That thought brought an evil grin to his face as he trudged on towards the entrance. His Viking companions tensed, raising their swords as they approached the automatic doors. Xander smirked at their gasps as the doors slid open seemingly by magic.

"They know we come and yet they open the way for us," Leif surmised.

"They believe we will be defeated by their magicks. They are fools," Gardar sneered, but the others could hear his slight nervousness. Xander sighed, shaking his head.

"They want you to come inside," Xander said. "The doors open because everyone's welcome to come in. They just kinda count on you not to pillage. It's like the honor system." The Vikings looked blank, and Xander stepped inside. They followed, stepping cautiously.

"Where are the minstrels making that strange music?" Leif asked wonderingly. 

"It is quite horrible...is it played to torment those who enter without permission?" Gardar asked, making a face. Xander pointed up at the almost hidden speakers.

"That's a little thing we call muzak, friends. It actually is evil and should be destroyed. Go ahead, knock yourselves out. It's coming from those little boxes up there." 

Because 'up there' was a good twenty feet over their heads, Xander was pretty sure that would put an end to it. He was giving himself a mental congratulatory slap on the back when the four slung bags off their shoulders. As one they each produced what looked to Xander like fancy slingshots. Four arms drew back, and four missiles sailed. A moment later a shower of sparks fell down on them as they heard hissing, a high pitched death squeal of feedback, then silence. 

"Heh," Xander said to himself, then turned to the Vikings with a falsely hearty laugh. "Good job, men. Ummm, did you guys always have those throwing thingies?"

"Hey! You four, freeze! Hands...hands where...I can...see them." 

Xander turned his head, already knowing what he would see. A portly security guard was huffing as he ran towards them. He looked at his companions nervously, but for once the Vikings seemed to be waiting for his instructions.

"Great," Xander said under his breath, his hands shooting into the air. Seeing that the others hadn't moved, he motioned emphatically and was relieved to see them follow suit.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the guard demanded, puffing with his hands on his knees. Xander

"Accident?" Xander tried hopefully. "Sporting equipment...defective...just on our way to return it and you're not buying any of this," he finished in a rush as he saw the man reaching for his walkie-talkie. "Oh, hell. Tie him up."

"Hey! What are you...you can't do that!" the guard sputtered as the four burly Vikings grabbed him, binding and gagging him expertly. The guard continued to make incoherent sounds of protest.

"Should we not rend his innards to warn our enemies of our intent?" Leif asked. The guard's shrieks grew more high pitched and urgent.

"No, we most definitely should NOT!" Xander cried hastily. "This is a rend-free raid, understand?"

"But how shall we strike fear in their hearts?" Svein protested.

"Trust me, when we're done someone's gonna have fear in their hearts," Xander answered, mentally filling in his own name in the blank. Begins with W, ends with W... "Now, just...just put him somewhere, a-away, so we can get on with this! He might have called for backup." Seeing the blank stares of his companions, he snapped. "Today would be good. Hurry up!"

The Vikings moved at the tone of command in his voice, bodily carrying the security guard towards the nearest bathroom stall. Xander had to grin when he saw they had vanished down the tiled corridor labeled 'Women'. He had to admit to himself that it was kind of fun, this outlaw activity. If not for the mind-numbing fear of being caught he might even enjoy-

An alarm bell began peeling through the mall, loud enough to make Xander cover his ears reflexively.

"Damn," he said, turning towards the Vikings who were coming out of the Ladies with bemused expressions. "We're going to have company sooner than I'd hoped."

"Company?" Erik repeated blankly, but Leif clasped his shoulder joyfully.

"A battle claxon!" he cried. 

"They will come and defend their castle now," Gardar grunted.

"And we will take their heads!" Svein finished, raising his fist. Xander stared at them all slack-jawed for a moment before shaking his head to clear it.

"Okay, since when are you the Highlanders? There will be no head-taking, here. Because, ewww."

"But we are about to be attacked," Gardar protested.

"No! Not! Not attacked. Not...exactly...look, if we hurry here we can get some good quality pillaging in before the part where we...where we advance bravely back to the car."

"We must battle if enjoined, Alexander," Leif reminded him.

"I said no!" Xander almost screamed.

"I question his worthiness, brothers," Svein said.

"Alexander, you must prove-" Erik began.

"I'm worthy of Anyanka. Yadda yadda yadda. Heard it already. Look, Erik, I know this is bad Viking form or whatever, but I don't want to fight. I don't even want to steal, but I will, because I love Anya and I want-no, I have to marry her. But I'm not going to go around killing people, or getting killed, because if I do, my weddings never gonna happen. Now let's get to the jewelry store, get a few good handfuls and skedaddle. If we're very, very lucky, we'll get out of here with splitting headaches from this damn alarm but pretty much not dead and...forget it, just follow me!" Xander stalked off towards the jewelry store, muttering to himself the entire way. "Man, the one plus about marrying a thousand year-old demon had to be the lack of inlaws, right? 

"Alexander," he heard Erik call from behind him, but he ignored it.

"Like my family wasn't going to be hell enough to-" 

"But Alexander," Erik tried again. At that moment the alarm stopped abruptly, and Xander pulled up short, sighing in relief. 

"Thank God, at least now I can think. Need a clear head, so that I can-"

"Alexander! Look!" Erik said urgently, grabbing his arm and pointing behind them. Xander turned and saw a number of uniforms moving in their direction. He cursed under his breath, gathering himself for a desperate sprint.

"New plan. Run!" Xander was relieved to hear the clamor of the Vikings galloping behind him, and he fought to try to think of a way out of this one. Between breaths he began a muttered plea. "Don't shoot don't shoot don't-whoa!"

Xander pulled up short. He blinked. He blinked again. What he saw didn't change. The others pulled to a stop next to him, and Xander looked behind him. The officers were gone, and in their place he saw men dressed in crude armor, brandishing broadswords and hollering battle cries. The walls of the mall had changed to some kind of clear glowing stones, the track lighting was torches on the walls.

"Whoa," he said again. "Not in Kansas anymore...how...oh no..."

"Their magicks have failed them!" Gardar hooted triumphantly.

"Now we fight, Alexander?" Leif asked expectantly. He and the others had drawn their swords and were looking at him expectantly. Xander managed a small nod, still disbelieving what he was seeing. The mall had changed, and now actually was a castle. Xander let loose a cry of frustration. There was only one explanation in his mind.

*Willow. She's done it again, only this time she's brought me to the past. Or some kind of D&D dimension. If I live through this, she`s just moved up to the top of the priority list.*

"Willow!" he screamed. The Vikings raised their swords happily.

"Willow!" the echoed in unison, like it was a battle cry. Xander had no time to correct them. He barely had time to draw his own sword before the battle was engaged.

*******

One more chapter to go...it won't be long now!


	5. Part 5

Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long with this, as well as other fic I've got in progress...I've broken my wrist, and still have at least two weeks before the cast comes off, which has made it extremely hard - and occasionally painful - to type. Thanks for your patience!

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of its characters belong to Joss & Co. And this section seems to require a second disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and all of its characters belong to Gene Roddenberry & Co. Yes, they're not mine either. Or Xander's, for that matter.

****************************************

Four figures emerged in a corner of the Val-U-Land mall from an entrance that appeared out of thin air. Two of them, the witches that had created it, emerged serenely, but their two companions were more than a little frazzled.

"Okay, I think I preferred the motorcycle," Buffy said shakily. "Even with the bugs in teeth factor." Willow grimaced apologetically.

"Sorry about that...we had to alter the spell a bit to adjust to the time stream. We should actually be here before we left there...if you know what I mean. It makes for a bumpy ride."

"We went back in time?" Buffy asked. "How far back? Like, I'm not gonna meet my mom at my age or something, right? Because I will never be ready for that, I want that on the record."

Willow and Tara exchanged amused glances.

"Not more than half an hour, but probably less," Tara answered. "Xander and the others should be here, or about to get here...but we should be in time to make the spell work."

Spike was desperately patting down his arms and legs. To cover her own disconcert, she focused on him with a frown. "What are you doing?"

"Got no reflection, luv, can you check to see if I've still got all the important parts."

Buffy flashed her teeth at him evilly.

"None of your parts are particularly important," she said, happy when his face fell momentarily before he set his jaw.

"Like you'd know which parts of a man were-"

"Quiet," Willow admonished softly. "I think I hear-Oh! I see Xander!"

The group of them saw Xander standing with his arms crossed, half-smiling to himself.

"Where are the Vikings?" Tara whispered, then added a soft, "Oh!" when they saw the four emerging from the ladies' room.

"Do I even want to know what that's about?" Buffy asked rhetorically, making a face. At that moment the alarm went off, making them all wince.

"They're just standing there!" Willow said in confusion. "How'd they manage to set off the alarm?"

"Where the hell is Spike?" Buffy asked in response. The three girls looked around, each wearing matching expressions of disgust. "I don't believe this...he is so dusted!"

"Whoa, there they go!" Willow cried out as Xander took off, his four oddly dressed companions trailing behind. "Where are they going?"

"Doesn't matter, Will. You guys, can you do the spell?" Buffy asked nervously. "Cause, ummm, company coming." She gestured towards the uniformed men now running past them, making a beeline for the strangely dressed 'gang' they were watching. One of the Vikings was trying to get Xander's attention, but he hadn't turned around.

"It would be easier if we could hear ourselves-" Tara started , her hands still over her ears. Willow interrupted, her eyes darkening, the one word she spoke somehow carrying over the din even though she was speaking softly.

"Silence." The alarm stopped immediately.

"Think," Tara finished lamely. She looked at Willow and nodded, and the two witches clasped hands. Buffy was watching nervously as the five men broke into a desperate sprint, the officers behind shouting for them to stop. The witches both had closed eyes and were chanting something in one of those languages Buffy didn't know. She knew it was magickal by the swirling pink light that had surrounded them. She hoped none of the guards turned around, they were calling more than a little attention to themselves over here.

"Hurry up," she breathed. Willow and Tara's eyes snapped open, and the pink energy moved away from them, covering Xander and his future in-laws in a light pink haze. The same energy circled the security guards for a moment before dissipating. The officers stopped, momentarily confused, then a few of them took out their handcuffs and slapped them onto no one. They headed back past Buffy and the witches, acting all the while as if they had captured the mall intruders. 

Xander, meanwhile, could be seen within the fading pink cloud to be staring in disbelief at nothing, while the Vikings seemed to be very happy about something. They all had their weapons drawn. Buffy took all of this in and nodded uncertainly.

"I'm taking this as a good sign...so, did it work?"

"I know it worked on the guards, and I'm pretty sure-" Will said. They all heard Xander's shouting of Willow's name with the Viking echo, and the redhead winced.

"It worked on them too," Tara said unnecessarily.

"He sounds mad, huh?" Willow said in a meek voice. Buffy clasped her hand on her friend's shoulder comfortingly.

"He'll thank you later, Will. Come on, they're on the move."

"Wait, Buffy, aren't you forgetting something?" At the Slayer's confused look, Tara amended, "I mean, s-someone?"

"Right. Spike," Buffy said, looking like she had just tasted something questionable. She sighed. "You guys follow them, I'll track down Blondie and make sure he's under wraps.

"Okay," Willow said. As she and Tara started off, Buffy called, "Be careful!" Willow and Tara both gave her looks of caution, and Buffy realized that while Xander and the Vikings might be hidden from the cops, she was not. She clasped her hand over her mouth to let them know she'd gotten the point. Willow gave her a hesitant wave, then the two witches hurried around the corner.

"Okay, if I was a not-so-bright, bleached blonde, scrawny and generally unpleasant vampire, where would I-"

"Who's scrawny?"

"Nygah!" Buffy exclaimed, right before his hand went over her mouth. He removed it a second later, and she continued softly. "What are you doing? That's a good way to become a dust bunny."

"Sorry," Spike said in a breezy tone that meant he was anything but. 

"You were stealing, weren't you? Come on, give me what you got."

"I wasn't! Just gettin' the lay of the land. There's an entertainment center've got my eye on-"

"You were window shopping?" Buffy asked incredulously. "Now?"

"S'not like it's a crime!" Spike responded indignantly. "Where's Junior? And the Hairy Light Brigade?"

"Tara and Willow are tailing them."

"Spell worked then?"

"Yeah. I just hope it lasts long enough."

********

Xander felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. Ten minutes ago he had been fleeing from uniformed officers in the mall; now he was trading blows with a medieval guard using a broadsword, and not doing too badly. If it wasn't for the eminent threat of death and the fact he had no idea how he was supposed to get back to his own time, he might have even been enjoying himself. As it was, he was alternately cursing Willow and cursing himself for letting himself get into this predicament in the first place, gritting his teeth each time the swords collided.

"Because...no, couldn't find a nice...girl...who actually had no...demon...connections...at all...instead you had...to fall...in love...with a girl who...cursed...men for...a thousand...years...and then...thought...you'd have...a normal...relationship..."

"Alexander!" Svein called. "May we kill these jackals and get on with the pillaging?"

"Go for it," Xander grunted, then amended, "Do what you have to do, boys. Follow my lead."

********

"Gosh, they really think they're fighting people," Tara said in amazement. "I mean, I knew the spell would do that, but it's so weird to watch them...like seeing only one half of a play." Noting the silent unhappiness on her girlfriend's face, she said, "I don't think he really meant those things, honey. He's just upset right now."

"He hates me, Tara. He's never gonna forgive me for this. And it's all my fault, so I can't really blame him."

"Sweetie, you made a mistake. And what you're doing now is going to help him out of it. Besides it was Buffy's idea. And it's not even real."

"It doesn't matter. I've lost my best friend, because I did a stupid spell."

"You wanted to make Anya happy, hon. Sure, the idea might not have been the best...but your heart was in the right place. And once the wedding goes off, and Xander cools down..."

"Oh goddess, the wedding! I was supposed to be...he probably won't even want me there now!" Willow cried, and Xander and the Vikings suddenly stood still, looking confused. Tara grabbed Willow's hands desperately.

"Come on, honey, get a grip. We're losing our illusion here."

********

Xander felt dizzy. For a moment he thought he was standing back in the Val-U-Land mall, very near to Vito's Pizzeria...then he was back in the castle with another guard lifting his sword over his head. Xander wounded him then advanced further, shouting for the others to continue. He finally had an open corridor up ahead and now was not the time to try to ponder why he kept phasing in and out of time. If, in fact, that was what was happening. He was starting to wonder. When they had rounded the corner they stopped, as before them was a treasure trove of jewels, all nestled behind what looked like panes of glass. Xander realized when he looked at his companions that this was exactly what they had been expecting to find. He reached out and touched it and yelped when he felt the cold.

"Ice. And it feels totally real," he marveled. "How did she do that?"

"How did who do what?" Leif asked, and Xander shook his head.

"Nothing," he said, then gestured towards the wall. "Bring a torch. We'll need to melt the ice to get the jewels out."

"Will that work?" Erik asked. "The ice is surely maintained by some evil magicks."

"Then...we'll just have to do a little magick on the fire, to counter that magick..." Xander said loudly, hoping Willow could effect the miracle he wanted. "Like...like a Snoopy dance, or something..."

******

"He knows," Willow said softly.

"What?" Tara asked.

"He knows it's not real. He's figured it out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Willow breathed, closing her eyes and gathering her focus. "He's asking for my help." Before Tara could react, the red-haired witch took off running towards Xander.

"Wait, Will, this wasn't part of the plan!" Tara called feebly after her. "Uh-oh."

******

Xander felt a warm hand on own his chilled one a moment before Willow suddenly appeared from nowhere. He noted with some amusement that she was dressed in an outfit fairly identical to her Joan of Arc Halloween costume. She smiled at him sheepishly, then squeaked when she felt a sword against her throat.

"The witch dies!" Gardar roared.

"No!" Xander cried. "Don't hurt her. She's with us." When Gardar didn't move, he added, "Friend. On our side. Here to help us." Finally he said sternly, "Usually I don't greet my friends with a sword against their throats. Drop it. Now!" Reluctantly Gardar removed the blade.

"You have many female friends, Alexander," Leif said suspiciously. "The blonde wench, and now this witch."

"How do you know? That I'm a witch," Willow said heatedly. "M-maybe I'm a wench. Or maybe I'm both. Maybe I'm a witch-wench."

"Will..." Xander warned, and she looked apologetic. He continued on to Leif, "Willow is Anya's friend also. And she is a witch, but she's a good witch, who's gonna help us with the pillaging. And before you start on the whole 'man's world' riff, let me add that there's magick here too powerful for us to defeat and we need her help. Unless you want to risk the, umm, consequences I mentioned earlier?" Off Willow's confused look, he said, "I told them...about the parts, falling...you know, the man parts..."

"Oh! Right! Eww! That would be...ewww...I mean...and there's no spell to counter it," Will finished in a rush. To her relief, the Vikings seemed fairly well convinced.

"We have to let Willow do a spell that will help us get the jewels. Get the fire to melt the ice," he told them, then added in a whisper to her, "which we wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't put them in the ice. Why, Will?"

"I didn't do it," Willow protested. "You did."

"And to that I say, huh?"

"This illusion, it's a spell of collective expectation."

"Thanks, Will. That clears it up. A spell of collective expectation. Of course. I should have realized that when I almost got my head chopped off and froze my fingers off. Although the fact that I have no idea what that is might have gotten in the way."

"Look, Xander, it's bad that you know this. It affects the spell integrity, which is why it's doubly important that your friends here continue to think this is real. As long as they do, it's like you're on the holodeck on Next Generation, playing a pillaging scenario. Oh, no," she gasped, burying her face in her hands as the Vikings gave a collective shout. A woman wearing a skintight body suit, with a small amount of metal attached to her head had appeared from nowhere and was now regarding them placidly. "I knew I shouldn't have made a Trek reference. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Wow. Seven of Nine," Xander gaped at the woman, who regarded him with cool amusement.

"You are interesting. What is your designation?" Seven of Nine asked.

"Xander," Willow said warningly. Her friend was still staring open-mouthed at the Borg that had suddenly become a part of their medieval landscape.

"This is amazing, Will. She's so real!" Xander said in a dreamy tone.

"Indulge your fantasies later!" Willow hissed, pinching his arm angrily. "You need to focus. I'm going to do a 'spell' on this torch and you are going to get rid of her!"

"What kind of devil is she, Alexander?" Svein cried out. Xander saw how frightened his future brothers-in-law were of the fictional character and grinned.

"Don't worry, men. I'll take care of this one," Xander said, approaching Seven of Nine who regarded him with mild curiosity. "Look, Seven. I hate to do this, honest I do, but see those men? They think you're a demon."

"Really? How interesting."

"Yeah...it is...listen, so, because they think you're some sort of demon and I, I've got to prove I'm one of them so I can marry the girl I love...and, well, you're not actually real, so...I'm gonna have to do this," he said, raising his sword and beheading the former Borg. He looked down at her and shrugged. "Sorry!" He looked back at the Vikings and shrugged again. "S'okay guys. Took care of her for ya."

The Vikings gaped at him, clearly impressed.

"You showed great courage, Alexander. That demon was...was..." Erik struggled for the right word.

"She was pretty hot, huh?" Xander offered, his eyes glazing slightly.

"...horrible!" The Viking finished, and Xander blanched

"That's what I said...hot-ribble. Horrible." The thee others nodded agreement, and all four came to clasp Xander on the back.

"Alexander, your bravery is worthy of song," Gardar crowed.

"Song? Nah..."

"Ahem," Willow said, rolling her eyes at Xander. "If the backslapping session's over, maybe you boys want to get back to the pillaging?" She raised her hands and blue fire crackled from her fingers. The torch momentarily glowed the same electric blue, then faded to its normal color. She handed it to Xander with a nod, and he immediately held it against the ice. There was a shimmer, some smoke, and then the jewels sat unprotected. The Vikings all backed away in amazed alarm as Xander handed the torch back to Willow. He cocked an eyebrow at them, realizing it was her they were afraid of. 

"Starting to get why you guys do this 'no girls allowed thing'," Xander drawled. "You're scared of them."

"Witches are devils," Svein confirmed.

"I'm not a devil," Willow protested, annoyed, as she gently nudged Xander towards the jewels. He eyed her doubtfully and she sighed. "You have to believe, Xander. Get them. And get them to get them. Now, I've got to go...I'm not supposed to be here, and the longer I'm inside with you..."

******

"...the more unstable the spell becomes," Tara was explaining to Buffy and Spike. Buffy looked frustrated.

"Why did Will do this?"

"She thought Xander had figured something out. She did the right thing if he did. It could ruin everything."

"Excuse me, Tara, but when you say 'unstable' you don't just mean that the spell'll go poof and they won't get to play 'storm the bloody castle' anymore, do you?" Spike asked. Tara shook her head.

"No, I mean it won't be as focused on them...like when the guards were caught in the spell. Will and I were able to compensate for that, but while she's in there, well, it's kind of like putting kindling on a fire."

"The spell gets bigger?"

"Sorry, kindling probably not the best analogy. More like gasoline. Lots of people may start seeing things that aren't real, and they won't know, because it...well, let's just say it could be very confusing."

"Because it's clear as crystal now," Spike sardonically drawled.

"I'm sorry," Tara blushed, "I know Willow could probably explain it better."

"Bottom line, if Will doesn't get away from them..."

*****

"There's no telling what would be affected," Willow finished. "So-"

"Oh no..." Xander moaned. He turned his head away, blinking rapidly to try to clear his vision then looked back. "No change. Oh boy."

"What?" Willow demanded. Xander shook his head. The Willow he was now looking at had glowing red eyes and long dripping fangs.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." Xander said. 

"I do, I...oh!" Willow caught her own reflection in he ice walls. She looked back at Xander. "This isn't good..."

"We need to hurry," Xander said, a bit pale. "Better scram, Will." Willow nodded, but found herself held fast in Leif's beefy arms.

"Hey!" both Xander and Willow exclaimed in unison.

"You should not trust this witch, Alexander."

"What do you mean? She's been great! She's been helping us!"

"She means to bring us harm," Leif insisted.

"All the more reason to let her go...no, seriously, let go of her. Now!" Xander demanded, but Leif shook his head stubbornly. Xander was alarmed to see the other Vikings nodding agreement.

"She will destroy us," Gardar chimed in.

"Willow wouldn't do that!" Xander insisted.

"That's right...Xander is my friend! And Anya...Anya too...is my friend..." Willow said, faltering slightly, but she finished sincerely, "and I just want to help them get married!"

"She cannot be trusted," Svein said solemnly.

"That you would put such trust in such a woman is...alarming," Erik said sadly to Xander. 

"She is clearly evil...she has bewitched you..." Leif declared in excitement. Gardar held his sword to Willow's throat and she gave a frightened squeak as the Viking eyed Xander gravely.

"There is only one way to release you from her spell."

*******

So I thought this would be it, but I thought wrong...one more chapter, I'll wrap it up. Honest.


	6. Part 6

Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long with this, as well as other fic I've got in progress...the broken wrist is on the mend. Thanks for your patience!

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all of its characters belong to Joss & Co. 

****************************************

"Willow!" Tara cried as Leif grabbed the red-haired witch from behind.

"Tara? Tell me again why this not interfering is a good?" Buffy barked at the blonde witch seeing Leif holding something to their friend's throat. "Because I'm getting that twitchy I-need-to-do-violence urge..."

"Looks like they're not too fond of Sabrina," Spike drawled without interest.

"Spike! Did you not just here me mention the twitchy...never mind!" Buffy snapped, eyeing the blonde witch nervously. "Tara, I think it might be time to break the spell here..."

"I'm not sure...oh!" Tara gasped as Leif jerked her girlfriend to be even tighter in his grasp.

"Chubs there is sure doin' a lot of yappin," Spike observed as they watched Xander exchanging words they couldn't quite hear with the Vikings. Willow seemed to be more perturbed by Xander's demeanor than the Vikings, however. "Might get to watch them kill him, eh?"

"That's it! This is out of hand. Break the spell!" Buffy demanded. When Tara hesitated, the Slayer drew her stake. "Fine, I'm going in." Spike rubbed his hands together.

"Alright, Slayer, `bout time we got to the violence. Somebody's gonna end up all bloodied, eh? Say, d'ya think I might get a nip..."

"No!" Tara cried. "I mean, we shouldn't...we should...what the...?"

Tara's gasp wasn't what brought Buffy up short. Neither was it her desire to hit Spike, though as long as he was standing right there...

"Hey! What was that for? I'm on your side!"

No, it was the scene now unfolding that made her stop. And stare. And, ultimately, wish for popcorn. She barely noticed Tara move to her left side and Spike to her right, so caught was she in the spectacle. Tara ultimately summed up the thoughts of all three observers succinctly.

"Whoa!"

*******

"I'm gonna give you one more chance to let my friend go, Leif, and then I'm going to make you," Xander said in a calm yet commanding voice that made even Willow blink in surprise. 

"Do you not see how your mind has been clouded, Alexander? You think that you can take on the four of us and win?" Leif offered scornfully. Erik cleared his throat unhappily.

"We must not harm him, brother. Anyanka-"

"I wish him no harm, Erik, but I will not let him protect his witch." Leif interrupted grimly. "If he is foolish enough to engage us, Anyanka will have to find another husband."

"Not gonna happen," Xander said through clenched teeth. He locked eyes with Willow, who was shaking her head in little jerks. He knew what she was trying to tell him. Not to do something stupid, get himself killed. But Xander knew something she didn't. He had a plan. A stupid, get-yourself-killed type of plan, but a plan nonetheless. He hoped that what Willow had told him about the spell was true enough to help him out.

"Alexander, please. You have been bespelled. Do not make things worse," Erik begged. Xander surprised them all, including himself, by smiling almost manically.

"But they're gonna get worse, Erik. They're gonna get a lot worse. This is the last warning I'm giving you here. Let my witch go, or suffer the consequences." He nodded at Leif conspiratorially. "You know you can't kill her, right? That blade can't harm a true witch; it's not consecrated." All the Vikings seemed uncertain, and Xander pressed his advantage. "And I'm the guy that you just saw vanquish a demon, who drives an enchanted car, and who's friends with a magical witch. You think that I'll be so easy for you to take? Do I even look scared a little bit to you?"

The Vikings eyed each other, now more than a little nervous.

"You do not," Gardar answered for the group.

"Then it all boils down to this. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?" Xander leaned in. "For the last time. Let. Her. Go." 

For a second he was certain it was going to work. But while his brothers seemed ready to cave, Leif's jaw clenched stubbornly. Xander took a deep breath, hoping the other's doubts would be enough. With a cry he raised his sword.

"Xander, don't!" Willow gasped. Then she stared open-mouthed with all four of the Vikings as Xander turned on his heel and ran away, sword still raised, a blood-curdling war cry growing fainter as he ran. Willow recovered from her shock as he rounded the corner. She watched the spell bubble stretch with growing dismay. "Come back here! Xander! Don't! You can't get separated from...the...it...oh, poo."

"I had not thought him such a coward," Erik said, disappointed.

"Xander's not a coward!" Willow protested hotly, then sighed. "He's a total idiot, but he's a very very brave total idio-oh God..."

Willow's moan was precipitated by Xander's return around the corner, still making his strange battle cry and still running at full speed. The Vikings and Willow all froze, staring with their mouths comically open, then almost in unison tilted their heads in puzzlement.

"By Thor, he's charging us," Erik stated with burgeoning admiration.

"He shows so little fear?" Gardar asked.

"And you thought he was a coward," taunted Willow. "Shows what you know."

"Silence, witch!" Leif cried, bringing the sword closer, deep enough to pierce the skin. Willow hissed. A thin droplet of blood ran down her neck. Leif crowed, "See, she can be harmed!" His brothers, however, were still transfixed by the sight of the carpenter hurtling towards them at top Xander speed. 

"Do not kill her!" Svein cried.

"But she is evil, brother. Surely you do not fear Alexander!"

His response was the three Vikings backing away from Leif and Willow. Willow frowned, then repressed the urge to simultaneously giggle insanely, shout in triumph and curse violently. She remembered. She knew what he was doing. Exactly what he was doing, and all she could do was pray that she was wrong. Because she was pretty sure this would never work. This was by far the most totally nuts idea that her friend had had in a long history of crazy ideas, but it was far too late to tell him that. Xander had almost reached them.

"You better let me go...right...now!" 

Xander's feet suddenly went out from underneath him as he executed a perfect slide, like he was trying to steal home. Willow braced herself. They hadn't done this maneuver sine elementary school, but it was still all in the timing. As Xander seemed about to slide right past Leif, his grip on Willow loosened in his confusion. The witch twisted out of the Viking's grasp with the distraction her friend was providing and she ducked away. Barely a moment later, Xander's foot hooked with Leif's, sending him sprawling, his sword skittering across the floor to land near a suit of armor that Willow knew was a potted plant. Xander grabbed the beefy Viking by the shoulders as he fell on top of him, then flipped the two of them over so that he had the youngest Viking pinned.

"Whoa!" Xander thought he heard someone exclaim, possibly Tara. He cleared his throat loudly in case any of the other Vikings had heard as well.

"Okay then, let's try this again. You're going to leave Willow, who is not a threat to anyone here, alone. We're going to take this...booty...and go. We're going to show it to your father, I'm going to get married to the woman I love, and we're going to live happily ever after..." At the assortment of dubious expressions he amended, "...okay, we're probably gonna fight all the time and make each other miserable, but I gotta tell you, right now that sounds like heaven to me." 

The stunned Vikings and a proudly beaming Willow watched as Leif's head drooped in defeat.

"You are the better man, Alexander. More than worthy of our sister's hand. Do as you must." The Viking nodded to his brother, and gravely Erik brought a sword to Xander, placing it in his hand. Xander frowned in puzzlement.

"What the huh?" he asked.

"His life is yours to take," Svein explained solemnly. 

"What is it with you people and the taking of stuff?" Xander exploded incredulously. "I've had it with this!" The sword clattered loudly as he threw it to the ground. "There is not going to be any killing of anyone here, is that clear? Particularly not members of the bridal party!" Four quick nods of shaggy Viking heads. Xander continued, "Now we're getting out of here. Willow?" he asked, his eyes flashing concern until he saw her grin and thumbs up. 

"Still the undisputed master of the hook-slide," she softly said to him, and he nodded, having to force himself not to grin back. It was good to have skills.

"Willow is going to help us get out of here," he said unnecessarily loudly for the ears he knew were probably listening. "Does anyone have a problem with that?" Four quick negative shakes of shaggy Viking heads. "Great. I love it when a plan comes together." Willow's coughing fit just about covered the audible groans of their invisible observers. He sidled over to her. "What now?"

"You tell your best friend you love and forgive her?" the witch tried hopefully. Xander didn't look amused, and she sighed. "We should be able to maintain the spell long enough for you to impress your in-laws. Then, all you have to do is get married and everything will go back to normal." At that her friend did smile, chucking the dejected witch under the chin.

"Let's go, then!" he said enthusiastically, hurrying off, the Vikings trailed behind him with their imagined loot. After a long moment, Willow blinked back her tears with a shuddering sigh and followed after them.

*********

__

A few days later...

"It was a beautiful wedding," Buffy assured Anya as she helped her pack. A task made slightly more difficult as the suitcases and clothes had to be fit around a large lump that was currently occupying most of the space on the bed. At Buffy's statement the lump let out a guttural moan, followed by a shushing sound that both women ignored.

"Yes, it was. My parents were most pleased with the bonding," Anya agreed cheerfully, making no attempt to modulate her tone. The lump responded with an even louder moan, and bloodshot eyes finally peeked over the top of the coverlet to glare at them balefully. Anya paused to give her new husband a dazzling smile, which caused him to wince and return to his previous lumpy state. "You know, the mead that Willow and Tara conjured was excellent." 

The moan this time was pitiful enough that Buffy had to fight to keep from laughing.

"I had no idea that Viking weddings involved so much mead." 

"Oh, the mead is very important. Remember during his toast when Clem explained the origin of the honeymoon? You know, the boring part?"

"I may have been napping," Buffy admitted. "I also had no idea that Viking weddings lasted three days."

"They have to. There are many toasts."

This time the sounds emerging from the bridegroom-turned-lump sounded to Buffy almost like words. 

"Did that make sense to you?" Buffy asked with a smirk.

"He said, `Have mercy,'" Anya replied matter-of-factly. Buffy was now shaking with the effort to contain her giggles.

"Really? I'm impressed you could make that out," she managed to choke out.

"Well, I've heard it before, you know, back in the day. Many times, pretty much just like that. In fact, if I had a finite monetary unit for every time I heard it..." Anya trailed off, a near rapturous speculative look in her eyes at the thought. After a long moment, she shook her head and continued, "Anyway, I'm going to say to Xander here what I said to all the others," and at this she lifted the blanket and shouted, "YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF!"

At Xander's responding cry of agony, Buffy could hold in her mirth no longer. Anya looked at her madly giggling companion in surprise, then smiled. She picked up a coat made of leather and fur and traced the markings, her smile turning a bit sad. Buffy picked up on her change of mood and her chuckles quickly subsided.

"You miss them, huh?"

"I guess," Anya shrugged with a sigh. "I mean, after a millennium, thinking I'd never...I really wanted them there, at my wedding. So having them back...it was nice, for a while. Made me remember what it was like, you know?" She stared nostalgically at the garment for a moment before tossing it aside with a violent shudder. "And what it was like was pretty gosh darned awful! Another day of my mother's harping on me, oh, and my father's little comments, calling me `wench` and ordering me around, I would probably have returned to vengeance."

"I hear you," a bemused Buffy responded. "But lucky for all the spell worked. Soon as the wedding party had officially partied out, they all went poof back into the past like Willow said they would."

"Yes, for once her magicks were not completely out of control and destructive," Anya acknowledged somewhat reluctantly. At that Xander's head finally did appear fully over the covers.

"An, honey, don't say stuff like that," he said slowly, holding his hands to his head and wincing as she slammed her suitcase shut in anger.

"Oh, of course that gets you moving. I should have insulted Willow an hour ago," the bride grumbled, stalking out of the room. 

"Actually, you did insult Willow an...never mind," Buffy called after her. Xander sighed, looking up to meet his friend's cautious smile.

"I guess that means you've decided not to murder your best friend?" the Slayer asked. Xander shrugged, wincing again.

"I admit. That was overkill, no pun intended. She meant well."

"Glad you finally see that," Buffy said, tousling his already mussed hair just to hear his protesting groan.

"Besides, the wedding went off, and I'm married to the girl of my dreams, who I love with my whole person and plan to be with for the rest of my natural life," Xander continued, raising his voice so that the recently departed bride might hear him, then adding miserably, "Because I'm never going through this again." The Slayer clucked reprovingly but not unsympathetically.

"Do you even remember the wedding?" she asked him wryly.

"Oh, I remember," Xander began, then suddenly looked stricken. "Oh. I remember!"

"What?" Buffy's apprehension grew worse as she watched her friend's expression change slowly from worry and panic to a gleeful grin. A downright evil gleeful grin. "Now I'm even more nervous. You hear me? Xander? You've got the Slayer nervous. Spill!" The dark-haired man crawled out from beneath the covers. Buffy was surprised and amused to see his outfit - irreversibly wrinkled trousers from his wedding tuxedo and a leather shirt made of tanned hide of some kind.

"Well, it was the third day and most of the guests had left...things are a little hazy, but...ummm...the brothers Viking and I...we kinda...well..."

"Xander..." Buffy started in a warning tone.

"I guess you could say we went on another raid."

"Oh God..."

"Not pillaging! No thieving of any kind!" Xander assured her, moving out into the living room. Buffy followed him, frowning. Anya was sitting at the kitchen table, pretending to read a newspaper and very pointedly ignoring them.

"Then what?" Buffy asked.

"Well, I guess I was still sorta mad. You know, at Willow..." Xander continued, facing the door expectantly. Anya rattled her paper loudly, sulking a bit at his failure to pay attention to her, then dropped it in disgust.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Buffy asked, her tone murderous. Instead of responding Xander held up his hand, fingers up and proceeded to drop them one at a time.

"5...4...3...2..."

A thunderous pounding at the door interrupted him before he could complete his countdown. Anya stood up, momentarily forgetting that she wasn't speaking to her husband.

"We have guests?" she asked mildly, looked reproachfully at Xander. "We were expecting guests and you didn't tell me?"

"ALEXANDER HARRIS! OPEN THIS DOOR! RIGHT! NOW!" Willow's angry shout kept Xander from having to make any kind of reply. 

"Oh, it's Willow. She doesn't count," Anya mused in relief, then with a cry of joy threw herself into Xander's arms, kissing him soundly.

"Wawyampph?" Xander mumbled in surprise.

Throwing up her hands, Buffy plopped onto the sofa to watch the drama play out. 

"I'M NOT KIDDING, XANDER! YOU ARE SO GONNA GET IT! NOW OPEN UP AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!"

Detaching herself from Xander's puzzled lips, Anya crowed, "I know that anger. You took vengeance on her. For me!" then smothered Xander's weak grunt of protest with another searing kiss.

Or perhaps this would be more of a bedroom farce, Buffy theorized.

"I'M GIVING YOU ONE MORE CHANCE AND THEN IT'S CURTAINS, BUSTER!" Buffy could have sworn she heard a sucking sound as Xander managed to detach himself from his wife's lips. Anya's arms remained tightly wrapped around him as she proceeded to nuzzle his neck. He looked down at the Slayer, his previous amusement tempered with some concern.

"Ummm, Buff? Could you...heh heh....do me a favor?" 

Buffy smiled at him brightly.

"Sure, as long as it in no way involves getting the door," she replied sweetly, having to raise her voice to be heard over the pounding, which had somehow grown louder.

"XANDER!"

"Some friend you turn out to be," Xander muttered to Buffy, who just batted her eyes at him.

"OPEN THIS DOOR! I MEAN IT!"

"She means it," Buffy repeated innocently, wondering idly if the Harris' had any popcorn she could microwave.

"I'M COUNTING TO THREE..."

"You really should let her in," Anya sighed loftily, detaching herself from her husband.

"ONE..."

"I mean, I'm sure that incessant noise is bothering the neighbors," she continued, sitting next to Buffy on the sofa. Xander gave them both one last desperately pleading look. Both women smiled and shook their heads.

"TWO..."

"Alright! Alright!" Xander cried, running to the door and pulling it open. Willow, caught mid-pound, nearly fell into the room, almost knocking him down in the process. He instinctively grabbed her shoulders to right her, then pulled back his hands like she was a hot pan he'd picked up without a potholder. He began backpedaling furiously as the furious witch stomped in. Buffy and Anya both stared at her, mouths agape at the girl's rather odd appearance.

"It was a j-joke!" Xander tried as he kept on backing up, laughing weakly. "I mean, you do see the funny, doncha, Will?" The witch's grim march continued to propel him backward, her expression promising nothing good. "Will?" 

"I'm finding it quite humorous. Vengeance often is," Anya offered brightly. The witch turned her baleful glare towards the sofa for a moment.

"Okay, I gotta know," Buffy drawled. "What did Xander do to make...that...happen?"

Willow looked down at herself, knowing exactly to what Buffy was referring. Her jeans and sneakers were perfectly normal, as was the yellow t-shirt she wore. Her pullover sweater, a yellow and blue flowered one that Buffy recognized as one of her favorites, was another matter entirely. Where once it had fallen slightly past her hips, it now came to just below her armpits. Without a word, she turned on her heel and walked back into the hall. She returned momentarily with something that momentarily stunned all three of the others until their diverse reactions: confusion from Xander, amused understanding from Buffy, and from Anya, unadulterated joy.

For his part, the goat bleated plaintively at them all.

"A goat. In my closet," Willow said in low menacing voice. "In my closet, Xander!"

"Yes, I know, but why is it still here?" Xander responded.

"Jimmy!" Anya cried, running over to the goat. "You're back!" Jimmy ninnied, seeming happy to see her as well.

"Look! Just look!" Willow cried, plucking at the now non-existent tail of the sweater.

"Will, I didn't know it would - wait, the goat's name is Jimmy?" Xander's head whipped around, momentarily distracted. Buffy stood and went over to Willow, putting her arm around her shoulders sympathetically.

"How bad is it?" she asked. In response Willow gestured to the sweater emphatically. "Oh."

"But this isn't the worst of it," Willow said, her eyes flashing accusingly at Xander.

"No, it's definitely not. Because Jimmy's still here," Xander responded in an equally blaming tone. "Shouldn't Jimmy be back in his happy Viking home?"

"Don't be silly, Xander," Anya responded, rubbing noses with her goat happily. "Don't you remember? My parents gave us the goat as a wedding present. There was a toast." Xander stared at her blankly for a moment, then a flood of memory made his shoulders sag.

"A toast?" he repeated weakly.

"Well, two toasts, actually. One for the giving of the gift, the other for the naming..."

"Oh! Oh! The goat toast! I remember that one!" Buffy said excitedly. The others looked askance at her, and she quickly returned to topic. "So, Jimmy's gonna be a permanent resident of Sunnydale, then? Well, it could be..." she began as the goat sneezed and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, then finished lamely "...worse."

"Jimmy? Jimmy! He never used to do that," Anya said, wide-eyed. She joined Xander and Buffy in looking toward Willow for an explanation.

"The worst of it," she began emphatically, annoyance flashing in her eyes, "is that he ate up pretty much all of the herbs and roots Tara and I have blessed for magick."

"Which means...goat can go poof?" uttered Xander feebly.

"Where did he go?" Buffy asked, and Willow shrugged, giving Xander a smug smile that made him shudder.

"Not really sure. But the first time he did it, he didn't go far."

"How not far is not far?" Xander queried apprehensively. Willow hesitated, taking a deep breath and a step back in anticipation.

"Found him in Buffy's closet."  


A stricken blonde Slayer rushed out of Xander and Anya's apartment.

A stricken new bride ran into her bedroom, crying shrilly for her goat.

A stricken young quasi-Viking carpenter turned to his best friend, who arched an eyebrow at him.

"Save me?" he quavered. She eyed him speculatively. "Please?"

"Two conditions," she pronounced solemnly.

"New sweaters and mystical herb stuff?" Xander guessed. 

"That's one condition."

"It's two things-" Xander started to protest, but the witch cut him off sharply.

"Are we quibbling?"

"No, no...no quibbling...what's condition number two?"

Willow's smile was all at once tentative and sad.

"Forgive me," she said, though it came out almost like a question. "Be my best friend."

At that Xander gathered her into a hug. 

"God, Will. You don't have to...I love you and nothing's ever gonna change that," he said quietly, kissing the top of her head. "And I'm sorry."

"Me too," Willow choked back a sob.

"About the goat, I mean."

"Uh-huh, me too. The goat and...everything."

The goat was in their closet. He could hear Anya admonishing Jimmy in the other room, her tone still extraordinarily jubilant. Xander felt a rush of affection towards his new wife, followed by a strange sense of peace. Life with Anya would be quite the adventure, but he was ready for it. A magickally disappearing goat was not that big of a deal, really. Scarcely a blip on the Hellmouth radar. Of course, Buffy would likely soon return to kick his...goat...but he remained content in his Willow-y hug until a thought occurred to him. A teasing smile played on his lips.

"Will?"

"Mmmm?" the witch murmured happily, her head against his chest.

"That's two things. You know, forgive you *and* be your best friend..."

Willow pulled away, her face solemn. Playing along.

"Are we quibbling?" Willow challenged, her eyes dancing. Xander laughed softly.

"Nah. Just, you know. Trying to get your goat."

*******

All done (finally)! Hope you liked. :)


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